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Dad, Mom, Me, Jeanna, Stacey |
My baby sister Stacey and I went grocery shopping on Sunday. While driving the 'burb over to the local Wal-Mart, we were discussing crying about adjusting to life without Mom. Just as I stop at a red light, I notice that the car in front of us has vanity plates that say "2GAYLE". For those of you who don't know, that is the exact spelling of my mom's name and it is not common. I'd say it was a coincidence except that I dont believe in coincidence. So, I have to say, "Thanks Mom" for finding a way of letting us know that you are still here looking out for us.
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On the day Mom died, I was making phone calls to our family to let them know that it was time and say good bye. Mason heard my conversations, teared up and said "Mom, if we get enough doctors here can we save her life? It broke my heart to see my kind hearted son learning one of the tough lessons of life. Some of his innocence was gone that day as he realized that doctors are only human and do not always have the abilitiy to save lives. I explained that we all will die sometime and that this was Grandma's time and that no number of doctors would be able to save her.
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What a beautiful opportunity it was for all of us to be with Grandma as she died a peaceful death and to have the opportunity to say good bye and to surround her with love as she left this world. It as had a profound effect on me and most certainly on my kids.
When the hospice nurse arrived, she began taking care of Mom. Mason stood right in front of me and within earshot of the nurse and began complimenting me. "Mom, you're the best mom. You know why you are the best mom? Because you teach me so much and I love you." The awesome nurse decided at that moment that she would wait for Mason to get old enough and then marry him...I think he will make someone a great husband one day and I can see why she would want him ;o) You have quite a wait Jolene, but I'd love to have you as a family member!!
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A few years ago, Mom had a surgery for a strangulated hernia. If I remember correctly, she was also in the hospital because something neurological was going on and she was losing her hearing and was unable to move her head without vomiting. It was really a tough time and it aged her considerably. She spent much of her time that week having very spiritual experiences. When she came home, I would go over to help her with her dressings and make sure she had taken her meds. During one of these visits, we got into a coversation about the experiences that she had while in the hospital. She told me that what she learned is that love is the only way we are going to fix this nation and fix our families. Complete, unconditional, love. She told me that what she had learned is that in order for our children to survive and thrive in this world is for them to have the safety net of parents who love them regardless of their faults.
What incredible advice I got from my mom that day.Of course this was how she lived her life so I have a great role model. I will always treasure that conversation and pray that I use her wise advice.
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I'm so grateful that Gayle Marie was my mother. I truly am blessed to have been her daughter.