Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Malia


Malia Michelle

Twenty four years ago, my sister gave birth to the most beautiful little baby girl.  She gave her the name Malia Michelle in my honor.  I fell in love with her the minute she was born.  Little Malia's beautiful crystal blue eyes glowed off her porcelain skin and her incredibly long black eyelashes went up to her eyebrows.  People stopped wherever we were to look at the gorgeous baby.

When Malia turned 14, her parents divorced.  Her world was turned upside down at a time when a child is incredibly vulnerable.  In order to numb the pain of her father's absence, Malia turned to alcohol.  At first, she hid it well from those closest to her but, it would soon become a habit that would take over her life.  For the next ten years, she regularly drank herself into total oblivion.  Many times she would call one of her siblings, her mother, or me to pick her up from an unknown location in the middle of the night.  She would be so intoxicated that she didn't know where she was.  As a family, we feared for her life.  Every time she left home with friends we wondered if she would return.  Many bad decisions caused heartache and pain to herself and those of us who truly love her.  We wanted nothing more than to see her sober but, she continued to use alcohol to escape.

A decision to drive drunk was the beginning of her brushes with the law.  She was caught driving the wrong way down a busy highway in the middle of the night.  God was really looking out for our precious girl.  Instead of being killed in a head-on crash, an officer put his car between her and an oncoming car.  She was arrested, received a fine, probation, and mandatory drug and alcohol testing.  Instead of complying with the terms of her probation, she took a turn for the worse.

One night, while in a drunken stupor, she swallowed a bottle of Klonopin and then took a bath. Her mother was awakened at 3am by a young man who, at that time, was Malia's boyfriend. He was worried as he had just been on the phone with Malia and things were obviously not right. Jeanna (my sister, Malia's mom) found her baby girl in the tub, passed out. Somehow, Jeanna managed to get her out of the tub, into the car, and to the emergency room. Malia had earned herself an ambulance ride to a bigger hospital, and a stay in the Shock Trauma unit. She was placed on a ventilator because she was unable to breathe on her own.  Her alcohol level was 2.45 (legally drunk in our state is .08.)  Seeing her in that bed, with a machine breathing for her, was incredibly scary.  She looked small and helpless.  I prayed that this would be the turning point in her life. If she had spent just a few more minutes in that tub, this story could have ended right here.

As time went on, Malia continued to drink and avoid her probation.  An arrest warrant was issued.  Things began to completely fall apart.  She could no longer get state issued ID, which meant she could no longer get a job.  The warrant hung over her head at every turn.  She talked on several occasions of turning herself in and getting sober.  Then it happened.  She drank herself into a stupor and then drunk dialed the police and turned herself in.  Another arrest, another appearance in front of the judge.  This time, the judge did not screw around.  The fine had to be paid, the mandatory drug testing followed, or she would spend 180 days in jail.  Thank God for that judge.

Malia's strong will and spirit of determination finally kicked in.  The threat of 6 months in jail was enough to motivate her change.  At first, she counted her time sober in days.  I looked forward to a daily text with the number, one more day without alcohol.  The days became weeks, the weeks became months.   The look of hope returned to her eyes, her personality returned, and her smile became brighter than I've ever seen.  She worked hard and made regular, weekly payments on her fine.  She never missed her mandatory drug and alcohol testing. 

In the midst of all this, she met a man named Will.  Malia and Will are good for each other.  She is happy.  She has dreams for her future.  Dreams of a home, children, family.  Dreams that could so easily have been wiped out.  Dreams I am so excited to see her fulfill.


A sober and happy Malia at this year's Colorfest.

Yesterday, my sweet little blue eyed baby niece and her man Will, packed up and moved to Oregon.  She is on to a new chapter in her life.  I cried when I said good-bye to her.  The tears were those of sadness, joy, and gratitude.  I will miss her but, I really want her to do what makes her happy.  Truly happy.  I'm so incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments .  Proud of her strength and spirit.  Proud that she holds her head high and is proud of herself.  She has so much to offer, so much to give.   

Enjoy your freedom sweet girl, for you truly are free!  Always know that your family is here for you and we love you more than words can say. 






3 comments:

stacey said...

Now I'm crying!!! I wish my sweet niece the most wonderful adventure in the world. Life is the ultimate adventure, is it not?

VeLoie said...

Love this,shows with perseverance change is possible. Best wishes Melia!

VeLoie said...

Love this,shows with perseverance change is possible. Best wishes Melia!