Teacher, Student, Student, Teacher

Before I had kids, I thought the role of the parent was to teach. I couldn't have been more wrong.
My job is to learn.

Carson has been extrememly clingy lately. Not sure why the insecurity but he literally comes completely unglued if I'm not in his direct line of sight every minute of the day. While finishing up a recent Wal-Mart trip, I made the mistake of putting all the kids, including Carson in their seatbelts and then taking the cart to the corral. I should have realized that I wouldn't be visible for a short time to my over-anxious boy. In the two seconds it took me to to accomplish my task, Carson got out of his seatbelt, jumped out of the 'burb and ran crying across the very busy parking lot to find me. When I realized what had happened, I was absolutely horrified of what could have gone wrong. A little 3 foot boy running through a busy parking lot could have a horrible outcome. I scooped him up, hugged him tight, and uttered something so profound that took me completely by surprise.

"Sweetheart, just because you can't see me, it doesn't mean I'm not here."

Oh wow. Did that come out of my mouth? How many times have I put my own safety in jeopardy because I didn't trust that He (who is everywhere) was there simply because I couldn't see Him? How many times have I floundered because I'd forgotten that God always has an eye on me, much like I had my eye on Carson that day. His vision of all things makes it safe for me to just stay strapped in for lifes journey and allow Him to take care of the loose ends.

When I was struggling to get pregnant, my dad told me that he hoped I would be able to have a child so that I could begin to understand the love that God has for me.
I think I'm learning.